Out in the middle of what seems like endless fields of corn and wheat and soybeans, the Middle West. My hometown glistens alongside the Wabash it knows the best way of lightening my chest. It hasn’t changed much since we parted ways and I’ll admit I used to think it boring. Who’d have known I’d ever see the beauty that I see in it now I never got any warning. C: Queen City! Shine your light on me. Let your hopes and your back roads take me where I need to be. Queen City! Where’re I may roam My heart and my home lie in thee. I drive through downtown, looking at the crossroads See where my favorite statue will always be I drive out to the edge of town, out past the Wal Mart to where the air of my town turns to energy. C: (musical break) The Queen City name refers to an Indiana town but really it’s the whole region at large. See, it’s an idea that captures well the land that I am living in where I can see the stars clearly C:

Early one morning, heading home, driving parallel to the dawn Out of the corner of my eye, it surprised me what I saw. I could not tell for the morning haze if ‘twas real or just a mirage But I spied a young woman in the field, dancing in the fog. She was dancing all alone, in the field of wheat Twirling along on the soft dirt ground brushing against her bare feet. Her hair was long and strawberry blonde and she wore a dress of white and a pair of white framed sunglasses, in the dawn sunlight. C: I wonder if she had a name. I know not if she was real. But I’ll ne’re forget as long I live the Woman in White in the Wheat Field. (music break) Her beauty was of a kind I had never seen before And as I drove past her spot, I had to see her again I quickly turned my car around, hopefully facing the dawn But when I reached that fateful spot, the Woman in White was gone C:

Rainy Road Rainy road is my only companion Hand in hand it goes with the music on the stereo Restless eyes Always looking at the new sites Rest stops and traces of traffic lights off the highway C: Many miles on the road but it feels like I'm not doing anything All the work is being done by my machine Blink my eyes, stay awake for the ride to my destination Just awake enough to keep dreaming Rainy Road It's like the road to Jericho I keep forgetting where I'm going Music fades into the rainwater and melts away Windshield wipers move in rhythm to the song my machine makes C:

My inside uneasiness is at it again cause I haven’t made a home-cooked meal since I don’t know when. I keep eating from depression, or maybe just out of habit My body wants better but it doesn’t deserve to have it. I keep looking in the mirror and calling myself a bitch. The night is past its prime but I still need to encounter it. I gotta get out of this apartment. Tonight there has to be more. I grab my keys and quietly close the door. C: I’m in a Fuck It mood tonight and the walls are coming down as I’m driving my blood red car through the streets of this dirty old town. I’m spilling my heart tonight but I’ll never let anyone listen I just need to say my Prayer-slash-Confession I try to find an outlet, but there is none to be found so I drive my horse-powered pulpit through this new familiar town. I can never write any song lyrics that capture the pain. I’ll just end up creating bad rhymes again. I keep thinking about my exes; they’re all married or engaged. And even though I know it’s futile to think such thoughts at my age, I keep imagining I’ll end up alone the rest of my life. It’s funny sometimes how badly I want a wife. C: I’m already at the bottom of this Diet Mountain Dew I might stop at a gas station and pick up another one or two. Every time I have a painful thought, I punch the ceiling of my car I’m driving miles tonight but it’s irrelevant how far. I drive past the girls in their short shorts as they happily stumble home I drive past a guy I assume is homeless and hoping better days will come I drive past the bright streetlights, I drive past the ones unlit I drive past my apartment; I’m not ready to go home yet. I don’t know why but I can’t stop thinking about my loved one’s future deaths The totality of life makes me shorten up my breath What if I crashed my car into that lightpole? What would happen then? I’m scared of the journey but I’m terrified of the end. I wanna delete my Facebook, but it’s how I connect to the world I wanna wake up tomorrow and find my perfect girl I wanna yell and scream from the top of my lungs and destroy all of this pain But I know that tomorrow I’ll end up saying all this again. C:

When I was a girl I used to think Tom Petty wrote all his songs about me, a beautiful, blond, always present narrator who knew all my secrets, secrets that even I didn’t know about, secrets that used to fill me with joy and make me weep. When I was seventeen, G-d created idiots in the form of farm boys who’d chuckle and smile and ask me to go to the movies with them on the weekends and I’d always say yes cause they always wanted to kiss me and sometimes I’d let them and I got to see a lot of good movies for free. C: Every woman thinks Every woman blinks I’m a woman of this town Every woman cries Every woman sighs And the neon on the north side shines down I used to drive late at night through the rich neighborhoods on the north side the kinds with the plastic, cookie-cutter, “allow-me-to-display-my-wealth” houses and I was never ashamed about my desire to live in one of those houses someday because then I would never again have to worry about bugs The town makeout spot was just off the highway, right under the big neon sign that said “Jesus Saves” in the front yard of this big-ass church. And the neon would always light up our bodies like a Las Vegas casino, promising us happiness and excitement and the thrill of escaping it all C: Anymore my only connection to the previous chapters of my life is through Facebook where my quote-unquote “friends” fill me in on what they continue to not do with their lives I don’t think I’ll ever see them in person again and I don’t want to I’d delete them from my profile but that would just seem too mean. I’m in a different city but not much has changed. I still have a choice of whether or not to let boys kiss me. The north side of town still lives and I’m still attracted to it and there’s even a church with a big, bright neon sign that says “Jesus Saves.” C:

I dreamed about you last night It surprised me to see you there again It’s been almost a year since you last appeared But still I called you “dear” and I kissed you. I dreamed I saw you last night And it felt as if we’d never missed a day. We fell into my bed, you gently touched my head. I made no attempt to resist you. R: I remember crying in my sleep For joy, for pain, for sadness, and all the promises I couldn’t keep We were in love once again And I’ve never felt more safe than in your arms that night. But I know it was just a fantasy, it didn’t mean a thing, but still it nearly broke my heart to see you in my dreams.

I'm sitting here in Clinton, watching the cars go by and when I see what the people are doing it makes me wonder why. Is it because I'm faithful? Is it because I'm strange? Sometimes I feel I'm in the movies just like John Wayne. I don't have a girl, never had one to speak of. Some people I know give their girls the world and all the time they call it love. But I don't believe in that. I don't believe it's real. Sometimes I feel I'm like John Wayne, with the Mexicans, making a deal. I'm sitting here in Clinton, watching the sun go down. And when I look at this world I'm in it doesn't make me frown. Cause I know there is bad things, but there is also good. Sometimes I feel like I'm riding the range like John Wayne

I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him Sitting on the front porch in overalls, placing bets on how fast the leaves are gonna fall I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him I really want to grow up to be an astronaut in space I really want to grow up to be an astronaut in space Looking for life forms on Mars, dancing all around the stars I really want to grow up to be an astronaut in space (guitar solo) I really want to grow up to be a father like my dad I really want to grow up to be a father like my dad Teach my son how to be a man, show him how to learn as much as he can I really want to grow up to be a father like my dad I really want to grow up to be a mother like my mom I really want to grow up to be a mother like my mom Always let my children sing, show them how to feel for every living thing I really want to grow up to be a mother like my mom (dobro solo) I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him See all there is to see in life, and still party hardy with my old-woman wife I really want to grow up to be an old man just like him, an old man just like him